Letter to my Biological Mother

GARR (Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry) contacted me via email telling me they’d received my filled out and notarized forms and are starting their research. They also told me they’d approved my financial assistance as this stuff is not free, by any means.  They asked me to write a letter to my biological mom for their records. If I go further and try to find her, GARR would do that and eventually end up reading my letter to her over the phone, granted she’s still alive and wants to get to know me.

What follows is the letter I’ve written to this woman. It’s difficult to write a letter to someone you don’t know, have never met, and don’t even know if they’re alive still, but here it is….

To my birth mother:

Hello m’am, my name is Gary and I’d like to bring you up to date about me,
and I’m interested in you too. I was adopted at 3 days old by a wonderful
couple who’d been married 20 years at that time.

I couldn’t have handpicked better folks. I had a very interesting and good
childhood in Augusta and have made a few attempts over the years to contact
you at the urging of my Mom. When my birthday rolled around each year, she’d
say “I bet your Mom wonders about you; where you are, how you are, etc.’ and
I think you should try to find her. I made one attempt as a Senior in High
School in 1981, and another try as a Senior in College in 1990.

I have three degrees, an A.A., and A.S., and a Bachelor’s from Florida State
University. I also attended summer school at the Universitat Konstanz in
Germany in 1985 and got a certificate of attendance from there. I have a
large presence on-line and own two websites, which I handle myself.
(BeardedGents.com , and BeardedGents.me)

I am currently on Long Term Disability from an auto accident I had in
upstate New York in November of 1991. I have worked at part time odd jobs
over the years since, but am presently not working. I go to the gym 5-6 days
a week, walk about 25 miles per week, and am trying to take good care of
myself. I have a nearly 10 year old corgi named Toby who keeps me company
and is my partner in crime, so to speak.

I do hope you’re well as I am, having made it to 53 years old. (Never
imagined being in my 50’s) You brought me into this World and my folks
guided and supported me through Life and helped me get this far. I’ve since
lost both parents, Mom passed in 1999 at 74 years old, and Dad went in 2002
at 81 years old.

If you’d ever like to exchange letters, emails, or even photos, I’d be happy
to share with you. I’m very interested in my heritage and medical history,
as I get older, and doctors always ask.

Gary W. Norman

About Gary W Norman

54 yr old Beardsman, Pipe smoker, Network Creator/Webmaster, College Grad, Dog Lover, Coffee & Tea Fiend, Romantic, Photographer/Artist, Music lover, Nature lover, budding superstar and Coffee Shop Philosopher, OCD, bipolar.
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8 Responses to Letter to my Biological Mother

  1. TAO says:

    I think the letter is perfect! I wish you the best.

  2. Brenda Kilgore says:

    Hi Gary, In searching through adoptions in Augusta Georgia in 1962 I came across your letter.
    I found out only a few years ago that my mother had a son in the early 1960’s who she gave up for adoption. I was born in Aiken, S.Carolina in 1957, but we lived in Augusta, Ga., North Augusta, S.C., and Aiken, S.C. until my mother remarried in 1970 and we moved away. I am not even sure where she gave birth, but my first search was Augusta, Ga. and I remember there were 2 hospitals there at the time, St. Joseph’s and University Hospital. I am not even sure of the exact year, I just chose to type in 1962. I don’t have a lot of information, but I do remember visiting her at the hospital, but I was so young I am not even sure who took me to see her. In my mind at the time I just assumed she was sick. I know she always spoke of a OB/GYN by the name of Dr. Storey. I am not sure if any of the information I have given you coincides with your date of birth, but I just felt like I needed to respond.

    • Hello Brenda! I was born at the University Hospital in Augusta, but that burned to the ground in 1968 from what I gathered. Very interesting indeed and thank you for the information. 🙂 I do know GARR has told me that my biological mother is still alive, but seems to not be interested in any of this, which is fine, it is her choice of course, but i was looking for my heritage, not necessarily a reunion lol I did get a DNA test done with Ancestry.com and am happy with the results, if not a tad surprised at them.

    • Brenda, what was your mom’s maiden name in the early 1960’s? I have a physical description of her (possibly) at my birth, and a story that her last name was ‘Roof,’ but that’s not written in stone for sure, but came from my Foster Mom who always encouraged me to search for my biological mother.

  3. Brenda Kilgore says:

    Hi Gary, My mother’s maiden name was Williams. My mother and I I have also done the DNA test with Ancestry.com. this year. I have been my mother’s caretaker, since June of 2014. She has a lot of health issues, but was diagnosed with dementia in 2014 and I had to bring her home to live with me or place her in a nursing home, which I did not want to do. My mother has been married 3 times. She was married to my father and they divorced when I was very young. My mother married her second husband in the early 1960’s. He had children from a previous marriage and my mother had me. They were only married for a few years, because he drank and was very abusiveness to my mother when he was drinking. If he wasn’t drinking he was a very kind man. In 1970 my mother met and married her 3rd husband and they were married for over 30 years. He passed away in 2001. When I am looking at your picture, it is almost like looking at my mother’s 2nd husband. I only have 1 picture of him and it is the day they were married. They are both looking at each other, so it is a side view. He was a T.V. repairman and had his own shop on Milledgeville Rd. in Augusta, Ga. I know his mother lived in Tampa, Florida and after my mother and he divorced he moved to Tampa, Florida. I am not sure if he was originally from there or not. I know he had 3 children, because they lived with us for awhile. I assume he has passed away, but I am not sure. My mother is now 81 years old and he was older than she. Maybe the ancestery.com will help. If GARR has spoken to your mom in the last few years, the individual they spoke to could not have been my mom, because she has been with me. The dementia effects her short term memory, but she still seems to have her long term memory. I have been informed by her doctor’s that she will eventually lose that also. I hope this information will help.

  4. Hey Brenda! Thanks for the response and goodness, since you nor your Mom have shown up (to the best of my knowledge) on my cousin matches, than we must not share any DNA. I do believe it was either 2015 or 2016 when GARR spoke with my biological mother. I’d have to look up the paper work to see when exactly that was, but yes in the last few years. It would be interesting to see that photo, even if it is a sideshot. So much to digest and all the best with your Mother as I cannot imagine what dealing with dementia is like. Fortunately my folks were both still of sound mind at the time of their deaths.. My (foster) mom passed in 1999 at 74, and my (foster) Dad at Christmas in 2002 at 81. I think my biological mother could have been as young as 14 or so, up to 18, according to my (foster) mom, so I think my bio mom could be in her early to mid 70’s? hhmmm. Thank you for the information and history.

    • Brenda Kilgore says:

      Hi Gary,
      So Sorry it has taken me so long to respond back to you. I am rereading the last message I received from you and you said that neither I, nor my mom were showing on your Ancestry.com DNA list. I have been a member of Ancestry.com for several years, but only submitted mine and my mom’s DNA this year. My Ancestry family tree is in my maiden name and Kilgore is my married name. I created an account for my mom when I submitted her DNA, but not a family tree, since I already had one. Ancestry gave me the choice of setting up my mom’s account in either her current last name or her maiden name and I set it up in her current last name. Today I went bank in and added her maiden name. I wanted to ask you if any of these names appeared on your DNA list, Williams, Boggs, Harris, Kilgore, or Coffman. If not, you are probably right, we are not related.
      I did talk to my mom last week about the son she gave up for adoption. Even though she has dementia, this only seems to be effecting her short term memory as of right now. She still seems to have pretty good long term memory, which I have been told that she will lose that also. If I don’t ask her questions now I may not get the chance later. I asked her if she had ever met the couple who adopted her son and she said yes. She said they had been her neighbors, who themselves could not have children. She said they were a wonderful couple and she knew this couple would love and care for her son (sounds like your parents). She also said the woman’s husband had a very good job and she knew her son would be provided for and given opportunities in life that she would not have the ability to give him at the time, since she was a single parent and working to provide for me.
      I’m not sure if I will ever find my brother or if you will ever find your mother, but I will keep you in my prayers Gary and it has been great corresponding with you and I only wish you the best.

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